who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
