After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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