You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Someone signed my nipple.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
