I must be too annoying 4 u.
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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