Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
