Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
In America we eat man semen.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
