I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
