I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
