U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
