We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
