OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
