My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
