So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
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