yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
