the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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