I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
