i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize