okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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