Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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