I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
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