forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
