Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
