Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
