What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
