I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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