i just google imaged poop.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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