Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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