Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
