I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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