im drinking this country out of the recession.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
