I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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