Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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