you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
