You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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