wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i love accidental penises.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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