Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
