I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
