If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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