Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
