Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
