please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
