I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
