I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
