currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
