So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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