Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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