you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
My vagina just recognized that song.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
