I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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