I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
