so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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