i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
